This post has been a long time coming, and I’m so excited to finally share it! The attorney in me wants to remind everyone that I’m not a medical professional. I also don’t want to shame or convince anyone to do anything other than what they feel comfortable with. The decisions we made as we approached the birth of our daughter, and throughout labor and delivery, were what was best for us and our family. And this might get slightly graphic 😉
Now that all of that has been said, here we go!
A little backstory: I had decided early on in my pregnancy that I wanted a doula to help me through labor and delivery. The word doula is Greek for ‘women’s servant’ and was the term used for the person who would aid a woman through the birthing process. They do not provide medical treatment, nor do they actually birth the baby. Simply put, they are a birth coach that help mom and dad feel as comfortable as possible and support them throughout the birth process. I wanted to try for a natural birth as well, with as little intervention as possible. I wanted to avoid induction and an epidural. I also wanted a saline lock, as opposed to being hooked up tok an IV, and wireless fetal monitoring so I could move around. (I typed all of this up and made a Birth Plan to distribute at the hospital.)
I did a lot of research and decided to go with Jenny Hernandez from Doula Do Right. I also decided that I wanted to deliver in a hospital (as opposed to at a birthing center or at home) just in case there were any complications. The hospital we chose was farther from our home than several others in the area, and obviously if there had been an emergency we would have gone to a closer one. However, the hospital we wanted to have the baby at was more natural birth friendly in that they had labor tubs in each room, provided yoga balls, and the on-call OB’s seemed more supportive of intervention-free births provided everyone was doing well. I’m still happy with both of those decisions, and would make them again in a heartbeat.
My due date was April 23 of this year, a Tuesday. I was still working (mainly from home) up until having the baby, and had even gone to court on Monday, April 22. The was my last day before starting FMLA so I wanted to tie up as many loose ends as possible. I had an OB appointment the following day, on my due date, and was preparing for that.
I remember sending my last working email around 5:30 pm, and waiting for Brendan to get home. He got home around 5:45 pm, and I was laying on the bed and started feeling a little crampy. I would describe the crampiness as minor period-type cramps. I thought that maybe they were Braxton Hicks contractions (because no one has their baby on their actual due date!) , but kept an eye on them nonetheless. I made it through dinner without too much effort, and then we decided to go on a walk. A lap around our neighborhood was about a mile, which we did. My cramps were getting more consistent at that point.
By the time we got home from the walk, I knew I was having actual contractions. I decided to get in the bathtub and try to relax. I started timing out the contractions on my phone with an app. They were about 3-4 minutes apart, lasting maybe 30-45 seconds. We called our doula, who told us I was in the early stages of labor and to keep her in the loop. After my bath, I remember having to stop and hold onto a countertop or even the bathtub during the contractions.
I got in the shower, and then washed and curled my hair and put on makeup. It was around 9 pm at this point (don’t ask why I did any of that!), and then just kept timing the contractions. Our bags were already packed (see my previous post on Hospital Must-Haves here), and by 11 pm we decided to get going to the hospital because it was about 30-45 minutes away, depending on traffic. We called our doula again, and I was having trouble talking through each contraction at that point.
We got to the hospital around 11:50 pm, and they checked me. I was dilated to a 4, and they admitted me shortly after midnight. My contractions continued to pick up in both duration and intensity. At some point, Brendan had distributed the Birth Plan to our nurse.
They were amazing about respecting our wishes, and kept our room dark and did minimal check-ins. I didn’t want a lot of people in and out because I had read about that stalling labor. I really didn’t want to be induced, either, and just wanted nature to take its course.
I kept laboring with more and more intensity up until about 3 am, and we called our doula again and asked her to come to the hospital. Shortly before 4 am, the nurse came in to check to me. I was in a lot of pain, and did ask what my pain management options were (other than an epidural). The nurse explained that really the only option would be fentanyl in an IV. However, she couldn’t do a cervical check again until a little after 4 am, and if I was dilated beyond a 6 or 7, they wouldn’t give me the fentanyl because that meant I was too close to giving birth and they didn’t want the baby to be drowsy during delivery.
My doula got there right around 4 am, and I mentioned to her that I was considering being checked to see how far I was dilated to maybe get the fentanyl. She looked at me and said “Give me one hour, this is why you hired me. Let’s see if I can help you.” So that’s exactly what we did.
She had me go into the bathroom and sit on the toilet, facing the wall. She rubbed my back during contractions and tried put Brendan at ease as well. The pressure started building at some point, and I wanted to go lie down. Brendan distinctly recalls me getting up and a clump of blood hitting my leg. He thought it was the umbilical cord and almost freaked out, but the doula told him it was just blood and was perfectly normal.
I felt tons of pressure at that point. The doula let the nurse know, and the nurse told us that the on-call OB was in the room next door and to try to hold on (ummmm….if you’ve given birth, you know there’s no hanging on!). They laid me on the bed, on my side, and put a peanut ball in between my legs for comfort. My water had not broken yet, but the nurse said the OB would come in shortly and break it, I think based on the intensity of my contractions and all of the pressure I was feeling which meant the baby was definitely on the move!
While laboring on my side with the peanut ball, my water broke on its own. Our doula went back out and got the nurse. At that point, I felt so much pushing and so much pressure that I knew I couldn’t stop. My contractions were super painful, but I was able to fall asleep in between them when they let up. The best way I would describe the contractions would be the most painful period cramps and diarrhea (sorry!) cramps you’ve ever had, combined and multiplied.
Finally the pressure was so intense that I knew I couldn’t stop anything from happening. All of a sudden, the door to the our labor and delivery room opened. The lights flicked on, and probably 6-7 people walked in. I remember seeing our nurse, the OB, a respiratory therapist for the baby if needed, another nurse, and then some other people.
They put my legs in the stirrups and pour iodine all over down there. At some point I was told that I was really close. One of my biggest fears was tearing. That was one major reason I didn’t want an epidural, because I had read a ton about how when you’re numb you inevitably push a lot and end up tearing. I remember telling the OB I didn’t want to tear (lolz). My birth plan also included a snippet about wanting to push instinctively through contractions, not being told to push against them.
At some point, the OB said she could see the baby’s head. They had me reach down and touch it, which was the craziest thing ever. The OB and nurse told me when to push shortly after that. I remember hearing our little baby girl let out a cry before she was even all the way out! Three pushes was all it took (thank GOD!), and I only had one tear along my urethra.
Baby Katharina was born on her due date at 6:24 am.
They immediately put the baby up on my chest for skin-to-skin. We had asked for delayed cord clamping, so they waited a few minutes and then let Brendan cut the umbilical cord. My doula helped initiate nursing by guiding the baby up, and the rest is a big blur for the most part.
The endorphine and serotonin high after that was unlike anything I had ever experienced. I had just delivered our beautiful little Katharina, without any medication, and the pain was mostly over. I needed one long stitch to repair the one tear, and that seemed to take forever but was minor compared to the labor and delivery process overall.
We asked for a delayed bath for the baby, so she rested on my chest for a long while, in between trying to nurse. They had trouble stopping my bleeding for a bit right after delivery. I had to get Pitocin in an IV, but they inserted it wrong so the fluid backed up into my arm tissue. It didn’t work, so then they gave me a shot of Pitocin in my thigh. That also didn’t stem the bleeding enough, so finally I had to get Cytotec. (Side note: I had a new nurse by that time, whoI knew her from Junior League. I had even texted her on our way to the hospital. We got to know each other REALLY well through this process 😉 The Cytotec finally did the trick.
I was finally able to get up from the delivery table, and obviously felt super weak. The nurses had to help me to the bathroom. I was able to get cleaned up, and they showed me the ins and outs of the medicated pads, freeze spray, and mesh undies. I did bring all of my own stuff, including disposable underwear, for later on.
Once I was able to make it back out, they had changed the bedding and sheets and I laid back down in bed with Katharina. I felt both weak and elated, exhausted and exhilarated. Brendan started making phone calls to our family and made the announcement.
We ended up being in the hospital for 2 days, and finally went home on Thursday.
And that’s about it! Like I said, I would make the same decisions again and will if we have another baby. Brendan, still to this day, says he’s so glad we hired our doula for that extra help and support she was able to offer both of us.
From the start of my contractions to delivery was a total of 12.5 hours. I am so thankful that Katharina was safe throughout and that I was able to deliver safely as well. <3
We didn’t take any birthing classes, but we both read the following books and I highly recommend them if you’re at all interested in a natural birth: Husband Coached Child-Birth by Robert Bradley, M.D. | Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth by Ina May Gaskin | The Mama Natural by Genevieve Howland
(And full disclaimer: some of the stuff in The Bradley Method and Ina books seemed ‘hokey’ and slightly weird to me. If you read them, you’ll know what I mean. But overall, they give great advice and motivation for a natural birth.)